| Last updated August 31, 2008 08:32:33PM CDT | |
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VR Laura
Queen of Cyberspace A parody of personal home pages on the Web |
Art: ©D. Kulpa and L. Fredericks |
| Last updated August 31, 2008 08:32:33PM CDT | |
|
VR Laura
Queen of Cyberspace A parody of personal home pages on the Web |
Art: ©D. Kulpa and L. Fredericks |
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Anyone who publishes a home page on the web is self-centered, wants attention and gets a thrill out of sharing with complete strangers
worldwide totally trivial, stoopid stuff that no one cares about or understands but them -- and maybe a half-dozen or so of their closest friends...
So why should I be any different? ;-) |
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My name is Laura and I live in New York City. The "VR" in my nickname is for Virtual Reality, i.e. me in cyberspace!
I'm a computer geek -- I byte the heads off computer mice, heehee (which I hold in my left hand, 'cause I'm a lefty!) * and love the Internet and what it has to offer in information. <cough> Pr0n. (Just kidding. Or maybe I'm not. YOU be the judge, heh.)
*Then there's my Clicknjoy Optical Cool Mouse! A wheel mouse with a built-in fan! Great for INTENSE computing, lol!
I also love pop and Net culture; cats; science fiction; B horror movies and am fascinated by electronic, robotic pets.
I admit it -- I'm a Internet addict -- but no way no how am I a "chat ho"... At least, NOT ANY MORE. <snicker> I do kinda sorta get a big kick outta Usenet... Me in a <cough> flamewar? Hey, I'm a writer, words are my forté! ;-)
I've made some really wonderful friends from my online experience, especially Loretta from California and Linda from New Jersey.
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 LORETTA BENT THIS SPOON WITH HER MIND. Photo: ©Loretta |
 LINDA MADE THIS "COW PARADE" COW FOR ME. Cow design: ©Linda |
 EXTREMO THE CLOWN DID THIS PAINTING FOR ME. Painting: ©2007 Extremo The Clown |
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| As for meeting MEN from cyberspace... Well, a few years ago I dated this guy I met online,* but that didn't work out . I also became really close friends with another guy I met online* -- for several years, in fact. He even got me a freelance gig working with him. (BTW, never, EVER work with friends.) That ALSO didn't work out. More recently, there was this guy I produced a website for.* His ego was even bigger than MINE, so that, OF COURSE, didn't work out, lol! (I obviously didn't learn my lesson about working with friends. Whoops.)
*If you think I'm talking about you, then you're probably right. <snicker> |
 ME AT 4 MONTHS Photo: ©L. Fredericks |
It was probably predestined that I would one day have a cat. Here I am at
the tender age of four months, clutching the stuffed cat my dad gave me. It
was covered in rabbit fur and made my eyes tear and nose stuffy.
It was probably also predestined that I would have a "sensitive nose" -- a term used by this ear-nose-throat doctor to explain my sometimes teary eyes and stuffy nose. |
LAURA FREDERICKS, QUEEN OF CYBERSPACE
Photo: R. Roman; ©L. Fredericks
| My sweet, loving, beautiful 17-year-old cat Junior passed away on January 6, 1997, two months after being diagnosed with diabetes. I miss her... |
 JUNIOR: MY CAT, MY FRIEND Photo: ©L. Fredericks |
 JUNIOR, ON HER WAY TO KITTY HEAVEN Art: ©1997-2008 Dick Kulpa |
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Added 7/4/08 |
| My birthday present to myself: An animatronic, singing goat. (Most desirable item. I had to have it.)
So I made a parody video. ;-) Sorry about the B&W and crappy quality. I forgot to change camera settings. (Whoops.) |
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I SAW A VAMPIRE ON THE SUBWAY, TONIGHT by me |
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I saw a vampire on the subway, tonight.
She was dressed all in black... |
 Retouch: L. Fredericks |
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She had black, chin-length, crimped hair -- with blood-red streaks. Black eyeshadow and liner. Black lipstick. Black nail polish. A silver chain and pentagram hung from her neck.
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I was convinced she was a "goth", until I noticed she was carrying THIS: A hot pink, furry and fuzzy backpack that was the head of Animal from the Muppets??? At that point, I knew she was a vampire. She got off in Forest Hills. Click here to listen to me recite this poem. |
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PINKERTON |
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I dreamed last night that I got a kitten.
She was pink. |
 Retouch: L. Fredericks |
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She had the prettiest blue eyes.
I named her Pinkerton. Nickname -- well, I think you can figure it out.
There was another kitten in the dream, too... Such a strange dream... Click here to listen to me recite this poem. |
| Click here to read my photo-packed weblog that chronicles my adventures going to the circus every year, plus other circus and sideshow-related things and events. This diary is for true circus and sideshow aficianados only, so if you enjoy this kinda stuff, you'll like it. |
| Like the unusual? Fascinated by (ahem) very special people??? Okay, who are we fooling... Let's just can the politically-correct stuff, 'kay? ;-) Wanna see some cool pics of my favorite, old-time circus sideshow freaks -- plus some of today's freaky animals and self-made freaks? (Comon -- you KNOW you want to!) Click here IF YOU DARE!!! |
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My first POLITICALLY-INCORRECT video -- Saddam Hussein Execution (SATIRE).
NOTE: Graphic content. Not for those easily offended by satire and/or political commentary. |
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My BFF Suzanne thought I should get a page on myspace.com, the Internet's most (in)famous (read: treacherous) networking site.
I left off most personal, identifying information about myself. I'm not stupid. (Oh no, of course not! I'll just put all my personal info HERE ON MY HOME PAGE!) Go there, now, and find out some (more) really stoopid things about me. (E.g., unlike the rest of the world, I actually liked the movies "Howard The Duck" and "Catwoman".) |
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I was feeling a little depressed on my birthday, 'cause I'm getting old (in
dog years I'm dead), so I thought I'd do something a little different to
mark the day. Suzanne was with me to celebrate and witness (most of) my freeloading.
Check out how nice some proprietors can be, if you only just ask. (Next year I expect some Boy Scouts will be helping me across street, so I better flaunt it, while I've still got it to flaunt, lol!) |
| Suzanne -- Orlando Bloom's Number One Fan -- told me her secret for blowing off annoying Jesus Freaks who harass her on the street. When they shove Jesus literature in her face and exclaim, "Believe in Jesus!!!" she replies seriously, "I believe in Orlando." |
 ORLANDO IS GOD Photo retouch: L. Fredericks |
No one's challenged her. But that's Suzanne. I'm more, uh, in your face. When a god-squader did the same to me on the subway, recently, I took Suzanne's idea a little further. Okay, A LOT further. I preached right back. About Orlando Bloom.
If you've got a sense of humor and detest god-squaders as much as I do, click here to read about my hilarious confrontation. On the other hand, if you're a Jesus Freak and think I should Burn In Hell, click here to send me hate mail. |
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Yes. I know. It's lame. But I just HAD to have it!
For only $35 (+$5.60 shipping & handling, lol) I bought a copy of Paris Hilton's emerald-cut, 24-carat (!) diamond engagement ring. It's a stunning CZ set in Sterling Silver. I love it! Of course it's not sold as Paris' engagement ring. She'd sue. So would billionaire Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis. ;-) The website calls the ring Paris N Love. Hmm... Wonder if it's worth more, since Paris and Paris are no longer engaged? Perhaps they should rename the ring to "Paris no longer N Love", hahaha. I also bought knock-offs of... |
 24 CARATS (of cubic zirconia, lol) |
 Jennifer Lopez's ring, |
 Camilla Parker-Bowles' ring, |
 Nicole Richie's ring |
 and Katie Holmes' ring. |
| Hmm... Five celebrity engagement rings bought... Three celebrity engagements broken. Coincidence or fact -- YOU be the judge! |
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Remember those fortune-telling machines in the old penny arcades? They were a blast!
Think of a yes-or-no question and then check out my version of Zoltar The Fortune Teller. Note: Requires a javascript-enabled browser and a sound card. (And yes, that's my digitally-manipulated voice as Zoltar, heh.) |
| Everybody's got a page of links to their favorite websites, so why not me? ;-) |
| Click here to see this site's privacy statement. |
| Click here to download my PGP public key. And here to visit the PGP International website and download the freeware version of PGP. The commercial version of PGP is available on the PGP website. |
| Want to e-mail the Queen of Cyberspace? (That would be me!) Click here. |
| The VR Laura, Queen of Cyberspace website is a parody of personal home pages. Unless noted otherwise, the written material, personal photos, graphics and photo retouches are None of these materials may be reproduced or distributed in any form whatsoever -- without the express written permission of the owner. |
